At What Cost?

Questioning. Uncertainty. Shaky ground.

What does it take to question? What does it take to NOT KNOW? 

What does it take to be able to stand on shaky ground and keep your balance? Or maybe you fall, but what does it take to go there?

Courage, a thirst for openness, trust in self. Willingness to get it wrong. Willingness to own up to the mistakes you know you will make. 

Willingness to trust that even in that place of shaky ground, even when you fall, you know that you will be okay. You trust yourself to get back up, even if you continue to fall, over and over again. 

Willingness to admit, that you’ve never had all the answers, and you never will. Willingness to grow. Willingness to try new things, to learn new ways, to allow the constant death of the ego. 

The ego will want you to be right, to defend yourself at all costs, to hold your stance, to think you know best, that you already are perfect, that there is no more growth for you, that you cannot get anything wrong, because you are an adult, and adults are supposed to have it all together, and if you don’t, you’ll look weak in front of the others… and looking weak means you are weak, and that means certain death. 

Oh, this ego, here to protect you. It has kept you alive. It wants to put up all the walls. The walls are sometimes necessary. Sometimes, the ego kicks in and saves your life. Of course, that’s why ego is here with us. It serves a purpose, and for that we can be grateful. 

And.

The walls that are put up to protect you from harm can keep out the love and connection that your heart desires. 

The walls that are put up to protect you from harm can keep you from growing any bigger than the wall structure that is already in place. 

It is safe for you to be vulnerable, to be open, to not know or be certain. 

Sure, it doesn’t feel safe at first. It feels scary, maybe like you may die. 

But, dear one, do you wish to live life afraid of dying, or live life being open to living?

Anchor into your heart, relax and breathe into your belly, find people who you feel safe with, where you are free to expand and grow.

Creating Your Shift Into Gratitude

There’s a lot about gratitude that feels so good to me right now. I was feeling so down around the time of our move. Actually, I was REALLY stressed for about a month and a half. For that period of time, I was in a hopeless state of mind. I couldn’t see past all the stresses of my move, being in a new place and not knowing anyone, the difficulties of meeting new people due to COVID, and the stresses of my body, healing from shingles and extreme muscle tightness, and just a general feeling of stuckness.

I committed to a 30 day practice of gratitude (I’m so thankful for friends checking in with wonderful and uplifting ideas!) and now I am practicing gratitude more often, without thinking about it. Literally. And I’m only on day 16.

I journal every morning about at least three things I’m grateful for, and if I can, I keep going with anything I can think of.

It’s an instant mood booster… if you can really feel into what you’re grateful for and WHY. Just naming random things you’re grateful for, just to get it over with and say you’ve done your gratitude practice, well… it doesn’t really work too well. But, when you really feel gratitude, you will change your thought trajectory, and maybe even change your state.

Here, let me give you some examples.

I am REALLY grateful for my body. My legs allow me to walk around, to explore parks and to workout, giving myself an endorphin boost, allowing me to feel SO GOOD. 

My hands: I get to play a piano, make music with my fingers, I get to communicate with others via typing and handwritten letters, which feels so special to me. I get to use my hands to nourish my body, by preparing food that I choose to provide energy for my body, to move throughout my day and care for my child. 

My Belly is able to expand and contract, to allow deep belly breaths, which provides my body with calm and relaxation. 

And I could keep going. 

We all have a body, that’s how we’re alive. What a beautiful thing to tap into gratitude for. 

Now for the tricky part about gratitude. Sometimes we want to feel self-pity, sometimes we want to be angry at someone. The voice in the head will justify why it deserves to be angry, defend your position, and keep you protected. 

You do have a choice here. Think of that voice as the stubborn ego, or a strong-willed child. They REALLY want their own way, they want to be right, they don’t want to wave a white flag and let go of what they’re mad about. 

I know. Trust me, I know how it goes. 

And, at the same time, you can choose to step away from defending your position, from that defense lawyer state, relax your jaw, and ask yourself, “What am I grateful for in this moment?” 

If you don’t find something right away, just keep asking yourself that question. Your brain wants to solve problems, so if you keep presenting a question, eventually you will come up with something. It can be so simple, like “the Sun.” Then, keep going. What else can you find to be grateful for? 

Pretty soon you may find yourself feeling grateful without even trying, just as second nature. And, what a wonderful state this is to create for yourself.

Letting Go of Perfection

As a perfectionist, I can say, I am perfect at letting go of perfection. 

… Ha!!!

Yeah, no, the reality is that, as a perfectionist, letting go of perfection is a moment to moment practice, that will take up much of my attention and energy. 

The real question is, is it worth it? Is letting go of perfection worth all of the energy it takes in the process of the actual letting go? 

Ha. Letting go of perfection is trying to change WHAT IS. I already am a perfectionist. Why fight it? Why try to change it? Why go through all the effort of NOT trying to make everything as perfect as I possibly can, and not doing anything that I know from the get go won’t turn out in the perfect way I do things? 

I’ll tell you why: because not changing what is, the state of perfectionism that I am used to operating in, is allowing myself to stay trapped in that cage. 

Perfectionism is the cage, and “good enough” is the key. 

“Eh, it’s good enough.” I want this to be my new life’s motto. (And the perfectionist within is screaming in horror… “NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”)

You see, some things are worth putting in the extra effort to give your all on, like… well… some things. (I guess that just depends on who you are and what you value. I can’t say what those things are, because they differ from one person to the next.) 

Perfectionism is when you give your all on EVERYTHING, leaving yourself worn out and useless for the rest of life-living you have. (This is my type of perfectionism. There are different types.) 

Whatever I’m focusing on, whether it be motherhood, finances, having a clean home, planning out my schedule, working out, reading, writing, whatever it is, I GIVE IT MY ALL and expect perfection because DAMN RIGHT MY BEST IS GOOD ENOUGH TO BE PERFECT. 

However, in LETTING GO OF PERFECTIONISM, the above statement can be re-written as:

DAMN RIGHT MY BEST IS GOOD ENOUGH. PERIOD. 

Good enough. Drop my standards on the things that aren’t that important. Save my energy for the things I want to use it for. Like having fun, playing games, exploring outside. Whatever it is that feels fun and exciting, if we use up all of our energy on keeping things wonderful and perfect all the time, we’re gonna be too burnt out to enjoy this miserable life

If we use up all of our energy on keeping things miserably perfect all the time, we’re gonna be too burnt out to enjoy this wonderful life.

Bossy Kids, Suppressing Emotions, and Self-Observation

My daughter and I went to an open gym together last week, where she played on the gymnastics floor.

I was annoyed AF, and trying not to be.

There was a little girl there who decided to be friends with my daughter, R, and was bossing her around the entire time they were playing. R was unphased by the demands, but there I was, so triggered. And it seemed so silly, but it was so real.

I cannot stand it when others tell me what to do, or boss me around, and I’ve always been this way. When I was a little girl, I quit a friendship because I would not succumb to the demands of the other party. When someone tells me what to do, and they have no business doing it, I have a strong desire to rebel, to do the opposite. 

It’s the fighter in me, the rebel, the confrontational one. 

So, this little girl is bossing R around, and R could care less, but I’m getting supremely annoyed. Then I noticed this little girl’s mama. She has 3 small kids, and she’s yelling orders left and right. 

At this point, I had two emotions going on at the same time: I’m feeling annoyed, and I’m feeling compassion/empathy. 

I know how challenging parenting is, and I have one child, so I’m summoning more compassion and empathy, and trying to stop being annoyed, as I tell myself “this little girl is just copying what she sees her mama doing, her mama is doing the best she can, and she has a lot on her plate.” 

Sounds great, right? 

There’s more to the story. 

So we leave, and I’m feeling SO relieved to be out of that place, away from the bossy little girl, and her bossy, seemingly unpleasant mama.

Throughout the day, I kept noticing how bossy I WAS. I kept seeing how I was trying to be patient, to no avail. Anytime I asked R to do something, she just took her sweet time, or ignored me, or just decided that she wanted to do what she wanted to do and nothing else. (Normal toddler stuff.) And I was feeling “Do what I ask and do it now!” 

I wasn’t accepting her dilly-daddle, her strong willed character, her wanting to do things her way. I was wanting her to do exactly what I wanted when I wanted it, without questioning. (BAHAHAHA!!!! Yeah right!)

I noticed that feeling, and I was wondering “where did this even come from? Why am I feeling this way?”

After reflecting over the phone with a friend, I realized I was not allowing myself to be HUMAN. I was denying myself the human experience of sometimes feeling really annoyed (or whatever other emotions we try to ban from our experiences), and I was trying to be nice, kind, sweet to the other mama. 

I was trying to be a “good girl”.

But that left me in a place of not accepting all of who I am (specifically the parts of me that experience uncomfortable emotions), and not accepting where I am right now on my journey. 

I was wondering, where did I get this idea of “do as I say, and do it now, without questions?” 

This story that this is how children should be raised, where did that even come from???

I’m pretty certain we’ve all heard the phrase “I brought you into this world and I can take you out!” Right? 

When I heard this, my response was, “right, I better get back in line.” 

“What a good girl”, right?!? (I’m barfing in my mouth right now.)

As if our children owe us ANYTHING. They did not request to be created, that was entirely up to the parents. (Take full responsibility, y’all.)

Yet in the past and on some days still, I have found myself feeling resentment around being a mom. Not resentment specifically TOWARDS my daughter, as a person, but around the role of mother. Like there is something that should be owed to me because I do so much for my family. And I know I’m not the only mom who feels this way. 

The idea of “I brought you into this world and I can take you out,” implies that children owe parents GOOD BEHAVIOR. “If you don’t get back in line, you’re in trouble.” 

So (some) kids walk away feeling “I have to be good. I am not allowed to be anything else.” (Not all kids are this way, but I definitely was, and I know several people who relate to this story.)

And when completely natural, normal human emotions such as anger, frustration, feeling annoyed, sadness, feeling afraid, etc, show up, those emotions are blocked off/not allowed/not accepted, because they feel so “bad”. 

They are rejected by the person who experiences them. (The emotions are usually rejected by the parent, which a) the child takes as personal rejection, because kids’ brains are not developmentally able to understand the difference and b) teaches the child to reject that part of him/herself, because that part of her is “not safe”. But, emotions are part of who we are as humans, it’s not something we can or should control, but something to experience and learn from.)

So, that person rejects part of themselves, saying “it’s not okay to go there, that part of me isn’t safe.”

But when you repress your emotions, they actually go away, so… the end. You’re good. 

NOPE. Just kidding.

Nice try though. 

They store up in the body, they sometimes come through as anxiety or depression or maybe an illness/disease, they come back with more intensity. They don’t go away.

The only way to “get rid of them” is to NOT get rid of them. 

You can move through them, which actually looks like sitting with the emotion. 

Accept that part of yourself, knowing that you are safe to experience those emotions, and resist the urge to attach a story to the emotion. Eventually, you’ll feel peace, contentment, ”okay,” emotionally regulated again. 

The story “you are ‘bad’ if you act ‘bad’ ” is NOT TRUE. (And what people would call “bad” is not “bad” at all, it’s just acting in a way that makes somebody else uncomfortable, revealing to them where they have healing they can bring forth).

It’s their way of saying “I don’t accept this, so it must be bad.” or vice versa: “This is bad, so I don’t accept it.”

I’m sharing my experience here to bring awareness. It’s kind of obvious that repressing our emotions and not accepting ourselves is not helping us, it’s actually hurting us. So we can talk about this all day long, and we can “accept ourselves for who we are,” but if we don’t take what we learn and implement it into our lives, things will just continue to stay the same.

If you’re a parent, I know you want what’s best for your kids. There are so many different ways that people have told us how to do things all along. I’m not telling you how to do it, I’m encouraging you to question and test what you’ve been taught, and see if the way you are operating right now is working for you, or if you want to find a new way of doing things. I am cheering for you, tune into your heart, and listen to what it has to say. You deserve to let go of the stories that are not for you anymore. You get to move into a place of freedom and feeling good. It’s waiting for you.

Take away from the story: practice accepting all of who you are, and all of your human experience. When you practice accepting yourself, you can more fully accept others, which feels more like health, wholeness, unconditional love, Shalom, nothing missing, nothing broken.

How to WANT to do the Thing that You Used to Dread Doing

I was just listening to Mel Robbins’ “The 5 Second Rule,” where I heard her say “I don’t give a shit about your feelings, you’re never going to FEEL like it…”

Interesting… and…

I disagree.

You can 5-4-3-2-1 all you want, but what about the self-sabotage that shows up later? If you don’t BELIEVE that you are deserving of whatever thing you want, then you’re just going to keep subconsciously sabotaging the efforts that you put forth, leading to frustration with yourself, asking yourself “why does this keep happening to me?”

I definitely believe action is important for your situation to change, but it has to be paired with shifting your beliefs. And emotions are just here to show you that something in your reality is going against your subconscious beliefs.

So, in that moment, while I was listening to “The 5 Second Rule,”I thought of a hack for emotions… How you can hack your way to doing the thing you *used to* didn’t want to do…

…How to WANT to do the thing that you used to dread doing… (instead of just doing the thing even though “you’ll never FEEL like it…”)

Think about how you’ll feel AFTERWARDS. Fucking life changing, I know, I know.

We’re not stupid… Our brains are freaking magnificent.

Do you think you can get out of worry, and get out of thinking that you KNOW what will happen long enough, so that you can dream up what you WANT to happen instead?

Can you IMAGINE that you’re already enjoying the outcomes that you desire? When you do this, your brain has the EXPERIENCE of what you desire… your brain has already done the thing, and so you have a neural pathway already established. (aka Visualization. If you think this is “weird”, then you might want to google how the top athletes in the world use this tool to achieve success.)

Now guess what? You can go and do the thing in real life… Since you’ve already imagined how it’s going to feel, you know that when you do the thing that you “don’t want to do,” it makes you feel the way you desire to feel…

So the hack is simple… MAKE-BELIEVE. And let the feelings that you experienced in your make-believe, inspire you to take action based on what you wish to create in your reality, to take action based on what feelings you desire to bring into your life.

Kids make-believe all the time. It’s a normal, natural thing that we are born ready to do, and then we hear the words “be realistic,” or “get your head out of the clouds.”

NO. Don’t fucking get your head out of the clouds. Leave it up there, and imagine all that you want.

And when somebody says the words “be realistic,” recognize that the realistic they are talking about is based on their current reality that they have created for themselves, that they have restricted themselves into.

Do your own thing. Stop putting walls up for yourself. And definitely don’t allow anyone else to box you in. You are created from the same energy that created the universe… so you’re pretty much magic. Others don’t decide for you. You decide.

(Side note: I am still gaining IMMENSE value from “The 5 Second Rule.” I definitely recommend it. Because sometimes, you WILL need to just do the thing [whatever is before you], and you won’t have the time to visualize, or dig deep into what you’re believing about a certain situation that makes you not want to do whatever it is that you need to do. So it’s extremely helpful; it’s just not the ONLY way. The 5 second rule paired with emotional wellness will lead to more long-term success than just the 5 second rule alone.)

Remember Your Connection

(I wrote this to myself, but feel free to receive it for yourself 🙂 Substitute your name where you want to.)

I am a really awesome piano teacher. I am a really awesome mom.

When I focus on where I think I’m in lack, only seeing my shortcomings, I strive outside of myself to be “whole.”

… as if I’m not already.

This is when I choose anxiousness, or restlessness. This is when I choose to be not present. This is from the unconscious.

Remember Amber, you are already whole. You are already enough. There’s no adding to you, because you. are. already. it. You are already what you need. It’s letting go of the extra baggage that is the illusion that you’re not what you need, that you’re separate from Love.

When I can let go of all the shit, then I see clearly. I see exactly what my next step is. When I can release thinking other people are the authority over my life, my decisions, my choices, my perspectives, this is when I can be easily guided by my Inner Knowing, my connection to God. I ALWAYS have this, and silly Amber, sometimes you forget. It’s okay, we all forget sometimes. But you don’t have to. You get to remember this complete wholeness, this complete abundance, ALWAYS.

I know I am an amazing piano teacher; the relationship with my students is the most important part, and when I don’t know what something means, or I don’t play some of the music very well, I’m honest and say, “wow I need to work on that!”

I can do the same thing in motherhood! I see my relationship with my daughter is the most important thing, not me being perfect. My connection to her is the gold, the love, the light. When I mess up, I can OPENLY admit it, and say “Wow, I need to work on this some more! Forgive me please! I’ll make sure I focus on this so I can be better in this area.” I already have it within me to be better (so I already am), I just have to give it my focus and attention. I have it inside of me, there is no striving, just focus. Just attention. I can do that. I am wonderful at directing my focus.

The answer is not found by looking out there; the answer is found by looking in here (tapping on heart).

Welcoming Change

It’s so exciting, isn’t it?

The feeling of freedom, when you’re no longer tied down to the actions of others.

The moment you realize, deep in your heart, that your reactions are not controlled by the behavior of others, or any outside circumstances. (Do you see the chorus of angels singing, with a light shining down from the heavens on you? It’s there.)

The freedom that comes with the first time you realize, your old self would have had a crazy emotional reaction to the situation you were just in, but YOU were there.

YOU were there, with your inner child (the part of yourself that wants to freak out like a three year old anytime you perceive you’ve been “wronged” by an outside source).

YOU were there, comforting yourself, reminding yourself that the actions of others are just that… the actions of OTHERS. Not to be confused with the actions of you… and definitely not in control of the actions of you.

YOU were there, helping yourself in the process of letting go; letting go of the crap you wanted so badly to pick up from whatever outside source your inner child thought you should freak out about.

There’s still some resistance going on after the event has taken place. You find that you’ve surprised yourself by remaining calm, when, in the past, you would’ve just lost it. And part of you wants to resort back to those days. Because, let’s be honest here, change is kind of uncomfortable. Even good change.

What will you do in this moment? This moment that’s creating a life-changing shift. You used to believe that your emotions were in control of you, but you now realize that’s just not true… this experience has shown you that your old beliefs, what you thought were completely right, completely true… are not true anymore.

What happens next? It’s definitely more comfortable just to go back to what used to work. But I have a sneaking suspicion that if you try to go back, you won’t be in integrity with yourself because you know there is a better way. And that better way is found when you walk in your truth.

This confrontation of change brings in the awareness that if I try too hard to define who I am with my beliefs, my opinions, my “facts” that I know to be true, and that if I am always “right,” my way is the only way… how on earth will I be confident in who I am as a Divinely beloved human? How on earth will I respond when my paradigm is shattered by a new realization, a new revelation? How can we survive if we’re not willing to evolve with the world around us? How can we move into our purpose if we’re so stuck in the way we think things “should” be? Because when we take a step back, and open our eyes, we will find that things are so incredibly different than what we were taught.

We were trained for this life by people who did the best they could with the tools and knowledge that they had, but who came from their own perspective.

If you ask 50 different people to tell you what happened at the same event, you will have 50 different stories. How is that possible? Which one is the truth? Well, they’re all true, at least for the person who shared their perspective.

Our truths are defined by our past experiences, so how could a thing be true for somebody if they’ve never even experienced what it feels like?

At the end of the day, I believe each human being is doing the very best they can. From this perspective, it’s so much easier to feel compassion and love for each individual we meet, for all of our brothers and sisters on this planet.

When rooting and grounding ourselves in love, and speaking and acting from this place, how many beautiful and amazing gifts will we see show up in our lives?

I have a sneaking suspicion the results will overwhelm our hearts and the amazing lives around us.

Mouthy Little Thing, Isn’t She?

I’m laughing at myself. I have a strong desire to sit down and write, but what about? I’m not exactly sure yet.

Still over here laughing.

 

Did you know that we literally speak life and death with the tongue?

I’m in awe over here. It’s just so amazing to see the results show up in my life.

Just earlier I was talking about my trip to Paris in the spring, a trip I’ve wanted to take for probably half of my life, and then I opened up my laptop and saw a sale on flights to Europe. GASP!!! I just laughed. I love seeing the effect my words have on my existence.

I feel like I always return to this, maybe because it literally is my life right now. Seeing how powerful our words are, it reminds me to change my story to create the life I want.

If I’m walking around saying how tired I am all the time, my body is going to stay in alignment with the words I’m speaking, because my brain wants to be right. So I’ll just keep staying tired.

 

NO THANKS.

 

When I speak energy and vitality over my body, I feel an instant shift.

Keep special guard over the words of your mouth.

My prayer for today: Help me to be aware of the language I use, and to create life all around me, everywhere I go, and to speak life into all of the lives around me.

At an Empower Young Living Event I attended this past weekend, a presenter shared a technique she uses when she said something she did not want to come into her reality: “Cancel, Clear.” Like when you’re erasing something you’ve typed on a computer.

So notice your words, consciously speak abundance into your life, relationships, family, career, home, fitness, etc., and if something slips out while you’re in the process of re-writing your story that you tell yourself and others, remember that you have the power to “Cancel, clear” anytime, and then speak more life into your existence.

 

Can you imagine all of the possibilities that you can bring into your life with this simple change?

 

Here are some examples for you:

Old story: “I don’t have enough money for that.”

New story: “I am resourceful, and if that is valuable to me then I will find a way to bring it into my life.”

 

Old story: “I have a really hard time losing weight.”

New story: “I am on a journey to being my healthiest version of myself.”

 

Old story: “I just don’t have the time to do all the things I want to do.”

New story: “I prioritize what is important to me, and I have time for everything that lights my soul up.”

 

Old story: “I have a hard time making money.”

New story: “I make money easily and effortlessly.”

 

Old story: “I’m afraid of what other people will think of me.”

New story: “I walk in my truth and by doing so I give other people permission to do the same.”

 

Old story: “I can’t do the things that I feel are calling to me because I am always with my other responsibilities.”

New story: “My responsibilities better equip me for the new ideas and pursuits that are calling to me. I find time to do what is most important to me.”

 

Whatever your old story is, I dare you to take it and reframe it.

Look for how it is giving to you, how it is helpful to you, and how it is serving you.

Whenever you catch yourself speaking your old story, “NOPE! Cancel, clear!!” And then speak your new story into your life.

And watch for the miracles that start showing up in your life. 🙂

 

Stay mouthy,

Amber Lee 🙂

It’s Time

“Your mind doesn’t know the difference between reality and imagination.”

I’ve heard this statement several times, although I don’t have all the “facts and science” behind it. I’ll check it out later. But right now, what’s more important, is that I stay focused on writing this.

Have you ever woke up from a dream that felt so real? Like it actually happened? I have, several times. (Hence I believe the above statement to be true.)

I woke up from a dream where I had taken full responsibility for my actions in life. And it felt ECSTATICALLY AMAZING.  

I am so grateful for the dreams I have that teach me a lesson, or give me much needed reminders, to help me stay focused on what is calling to me. (Thank you God.)

In this dream, I had decided to DO what I knew I was supposed to do, because I was tuned in to my gut, intuition, listening to God’s guidance, following my heart.

I woke up feeling like this experience had actually taken place; I feel compelled to act, to step into my bravery and courage. To return to the things that I know are written on my heart, to share love and light in the avenues that are before me. To release the fear around being who I truly am, this unique woman that God created me to be.

Our beings are divinely inspired, thought of before we were even created.

Think of how amazing you are. You are created with love and light.

Think about the miraculous world which holds our existence. We are all moving through our galaxy so fast… our beautiful Earth is orbiting the sun at around 67,000 miles per hour!!!! (See https://www.space.com/33527-how-fast-is-earth-moving.html  for more info! It’s amazing.)

We are miracles, literally flying through space, speeding around a giant, beautiful star. I am in awe of the magic we are.

Which brings me to this: It’s time.

It’s time to stop pretending you are insignificant. Because you ARE significant.

It’s time to stop playing small. Because you are anything but.

 

******Do you know who you are?******

 

It’s time to step into the magic that you are.

It’s time to acknowledge the fears that claim to be real, thank them for trying to protect you, and take action anyway.

It’s time to see the abundance of love that permeates our existence.

It’s time to step into the reality that you are enough, that you are fully equipped, that you are on a journey that is on purpose.

It’s time to take radical responsibility for what your life looks like, fully accepting that you chose your life as it is in this moment, and deeply knowing that you have the creative power to change it.

 

******Do you know WHO you are?*******

 

With much love and light,

Amber Lee

Releasing What Holds Us Back

There are so many things going through my head about opinions right now.

I trust that my words will flow through my fingers in the way that is most beautiful and helpful for our souls.

 

We feel a strong calling towards a thing, and that thing feels so right and resonates so deeply with our souls, because it is our purpose calling out to us. You know what I mean… when you have this brilliant idea or vision, and you just KNOW it’s what you’re being called to.

There’s a brief moment of excitement, and then, a little “frenemy” named fear may try to sneak in… He’s kept you small and safe in the past, or that’s how it appeared. But he’s also held you back from your biggest dreams and desires because sometimes those dreams and desires call us to go through some scary sh*t. And we perceive that scary sh*t as danger.

It’s at this point that we have a choice and that choice has to be made in an instant. We can choose to let that fear make us small, and keep us stagnant, OR we can say thank you for your input, dismiss it, move past it, and expand into what we’re being called to do.

Opinions of Others

That overwhelming fear that can say many different things (it usually knows what to say in order to get your goat). For me: “What will they think of you?”

The opinions of others are vast; if you only allow yourself to move forward when you think you will have approval from everyone… baby… you’re going nowhere.

Every single person has their own vantage point, their own opinions. Each vantage point is different than anyone else’s. So if you’re running around trying to please everybody, you’ll be spread thinner than flat Stanley going through snail mail. Because there are more than 7.5 billion people on this planet.

Caring about the opinions of others stems from a craving for approval. Why am I seeking outward approval? Now we’re getting somewhere.

If I’m approved of, that means I’m accepted. Ouch.

If I’m seeking approval and acceptance that means I don’t currently have it, because you don’t seek for something that you already have. Double ouch.

 

Reminder: I have already been given that approval and acceptance from God, and I can approve and accept myself exactly as I am. I can love myself exactly where I’m at right now, as I’m exactly the way that my Creator created me to be.

When I’m full of that love and compassion for myself, flaws and all, I can show that same love and compassion to the people in my life. And suddenly, I’m not so much concerned about what it is others think of me; instead, I am focused on the learning opportunities that arise as I notice the feelings that come up for me day to day around staying in that love, and sharing that love and compassion with others.

So when it’s time for us to make that choice, the choice of letting the fear in and crippling us from taking action OR saying “thank you for your input,” letting the fear go, and choosing to stay rooted and grounded in love, let’s choose love, and act on it.

Whatever it is that we choose to act on will create a rippling effect. What we focus on, what we CHOOSE, will expand and show up more in our lives, and will flow over into the lives of the souls around us.

 

We get to choose.