Have you heard the saying “Hurt people hurt people?”
Being hurt is a part of our world, part of our human experience. It may bring pain, but think of all the beautiful things that can bloom from it as well… Flowers grow through shit. Beautiful things can come through hardships.
(Beautiful things can also come with ease, without pain or suffering. Just wanted to clarify.)
When people are hurt, it is easier for them to project their hurt outside of themselves in order to feel better, to protect their hearts.
In a reactive state, when a person is focused on survival, the projection of pain can come in the form of more pain, more suffering, more hurt.
This cycle can keep repeating. When a person’s pain is triggered, this reactive, survival instinct kicks in again, and up goes walls, and other forms of protection.
Let’s take a step back.
Why do we get hurt? What is it exactly that hurts us?
I’m not entirely sure of these answers, and I think the answers to these questions may be different for everyone.
I would venture to say that we get hurt because when a person we love is having a difficulty or hardship going on in their lives, we somehow turn the situation around and make it about us, and what hurts us is that we give truth to the judgment placed on us.
The person going through a hardship reacts in hurt, and we are on the “receiving end.” If we can take a HUGE step back, and remember that this person we love is going through something, that this outward act of “meanness” or hurt is actually a cry for help, we would be better equipped to show up in that relationship in a way that can stop the hurt cycle. We can then be there for our loved ones, being an example of love and encouragement in a time when they need this support the most.
So, we somehow are in the position to get hurt, and instead of allowing that hurt to sink in and take root, we take loving action.
This action says “I’m here for you. You are loved. We are on the same team. You are beautiful and glorious and perfectly imperfect. Your presence in this world is for a reason. Your light is brilliant. You are guided by the Creator. You are more than enough.”
And by sharing Love, we’re spreading Love. We stop the cycle of hurt, and we start the cycle of Love.