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Finding Wholeness

Monthly Archives: May 2018

Put on Your Boss Pants

13 Sunday May 2018

Posted by Amber McDowell in Uncategorized

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To go someplace you have never gone before, you must do the things that you have never done before.

If you want something new in your life, or you want to make changes, you are going to HAVE to DO new actions! You can sit around and wish things were different, but isn’t that what you have been doing so far? And are you any closer to where you want to be?

I’ve been talking about (let’s be real here- complaining about is a much more accurate description!) getting my financial house “in order” to my spouse for a LONG TIME. This morning, while it was still dark outside, this thought came to me: “GET your finances where you want them to be.” They’re not going to do it on their own… money/finances are a TOOL. They cannot DO anything FOR you. You have to use them and make them do the work you want them to do.

OR you can passively watch and see if they do any magic tricks. (Good luck on that one.)

 

After this kick in the butt (for my mind), I am applying these same principles to other areas of my life where I “wish” I was better at something or I “wish” I had more time for something. I can wish all day that I was better at soccer. Will that make me better at soccer? NOPE! Action is required. Where attention goes, energy flows. Start putting your attention and focus on what you want it to be on… INTENTIONALLY… and begin taking actions around your thoughts… and turn your dreams into your reality.

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Your present moment is a direct projection of your past. Where you are in this current moment is a result of yesterday. If you don’t like where you are today and you want tomorrow to be different, decide what it is you want your life to look like and take steps in that direction. They may be tiny steps, and that is totally ok. In fact, that is more sustainable than humongous leaps and bounds.

Small steps. If you’re like me, this may be hard for you to swallow. I want to make all the changes NOW. If this is you, take 5 deep breaths. Focus on your breath. Out loud, say three things that you are grateful for; keep going if you want!

Be present, AND keep your goals in sight. Be so GRATEFUL for everything you have, AND keep doing the work to bring so much joy, love and light into your life and the lives of your loved ones. Be content with your beautiful life, AND stay focused on your growth.

From Hurting to Healing

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Posted by Amber McDowell in Love Yourself Like a Mother, Uncategorized

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Have you heard the saying “Hurt people hurt people?”

Being hurt is a part of our world, part of our human experience. It may bring pain, but think of all the beautiful things that can bloom from it as well… Flowers grow through shit. Beautiful things can come through hardships.

(Beautiful things can also come with ease, without pain or suffering. Just wanted to clarify.)

When people are hurt, it is easier for them to project their hurt outside of themselves in order to feel better, to protect their hearts.

In a reactive state, when a person is focused on survival, the projection of pain can come in the form of more pain, more suffering, more hurt.

This cycle can keep repeating. When a person’s pain is triggered, this reactive, survival instinct kicks in again, and up goes walls, and other forms of protection.

 

Let’s take a step back.

Why do we get hurt? What is it exactly that hurts us?

I’m not entirely sure of these answers, and I think the answers to these questions may be different for everyone.

 

I would venture to say that we get hurt because when a person we love is having a difficulty or hardship going on in their lives, we somehow turn the situation around and make it about us, and what hurts us is that we give truth to the judgment placed on us.

The person going through a hardship reacts in hurt, and we are on the “receiving end.” If we can take a HUGE step back, and remember that this person we love is going through something, that this outward act of “meanness” or hurt is actually a cry for help, we would be better equipped to show up in that relationship in a way that can stop the hurt cycle. We can then be there for our loved ones, being an example of love and encouragement in a time when they need this support the most.

So, we somehow are in the position to get hurt, and instead of allowing that hurt to sink in and take root, we take loving action.

 

This action says “I’m here for you. You are loved. We are on the same team. You are beautiful and glorious and perfectly imperfect. Your presence in this world is for a reason. Your light is brilliant.  You are guided by the Creator. You are more than enough.”

And by sharing Love, we’re spreading Love. We stop the cycle of hurt, and we start the cycle of Love.

 

 

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